The Best Parenting Advice I Ever Received Was the Simplest

Before we figured out my son’s sensitivity to dyes (see our story here) and a better way to parent him, I was at the end of my rope. He was three and most days defiant from morning until night. Every day was a power struggle between us.

Each night I would look up information on the Internet trying to figure out what to do and how to get through the days. He would blurt out all the time or just scream at intervals at me–did he have Tourette’s Syndrome? He would never do a single thing I asked of him–did he have Oppositional Defiance Disorder? Did he just want to make me crazy???

I constantly wondered why we could not have a fun day rather than my always having to be in discipline mode. I later learned better ways to parent him and better ways to feed him, but this one night in particular I felt defeated.

That was when my aunt-in-law called. We made small talk and then she asked how things were going with the kids. I just broke down and told her all the problems I was having with my three year old. I believe I was in tears as I explained how we thought maybe he had Tourette’s Syndrome or some other problem that caused him to just scream and drive us crazy. She listened and when I was finished she said, “Just love him. Just love him. That’s all you can do. It goes so fast.”

It was so simple. Approach this problem with love. Be grateful for this time with him. She was right and I was grateful for the reminder.

Each time I was in one of those low-energy-tired-of-dealing-with-the-problems days, I would hear her words and think “just love him.” I hugged him when he was screaming. We did finally figure out his food and how to keep him more consistent. I did eventually learn how to not react to his tantrums and how to support him in his reactions to life. But, I did so because I kept thinking “just love him.” I loved him through the difficult days as well as the happy ones. I’ve continued to hear her words and the patient way she told them to me since now he is seven and of course our parenting job is far from over.

Of all the parenting advice I received, of all the things I looked up, her heartfelt advice has been the simplest reminder of how fleeting this time is. It made me loosen up and quit worrying so much about how my kids should be because every kid is different and these moments are passing quickly. “It goes so fast.”